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Monday, August 22, 2011

Diagnosis What

Ten days ago I had surgery for uterine cancer.  The surgeon said it looked like he expected, early stage, contained and probably there would be no need for follow up treatment.  Good news, right?  Okay, that's how I'm taking it.  I won't know for sure until my follow up appointment tomorrow and receive the pathology report, but I am feeling very positive.  The interesting thing is that I wonder if that's how I'm supposed to feel.  I have had a variety of responses.  Most people downplay the whole thing and even the doctor said at our first appointment, "Well, if you're going to have cancer, this is the one to get!"  Okay...I guess.  A lot of folks tell me stories of relatives who have had the same thing with good outcomes.  Others tell me cheerfully that their (insert relative relationship) who died of cancer x started with this one.  Hmmmm, and that is encouraging to me because?????  This is probably all coming up for me because of a card from a friend with a flyer to the Wellness Community, a non-profit cancer support group in our area.  Today, and if the results are as expected tomorrow, I just don't feel I need a support group.  Not even sure I would feel "worthy" to enter into that.  Now, if they could fix insomnia and other side issues of surgery and major hormonal shifts, I'd be there in a flash!  Otherwise, it feels like my faith communities and friends and family will be support enough.  On the other hand, I'm open, for tomorrow, that could all change. 


  1. I think I can relate a little, Gail. I've received so many wonderful,loving suggestions about how to handle the death of my mother. The truth is, while I miss my mother and wish I could talk to her, I know how difficult life was getting for her and how happy she is now. My faith and my friends give me peace. Instead of falling into a deep depression or grieving, I just feel at peace and sometimes feel guilty for that. When one's faith is a practice and not just a good idea, cancer or death don't seem to be insurmountable - just a part of life. I'm so glad you have great support - it's everything. I had the same little scare last Dec. and everything turned out fine but it scared my boys to death.My mortality seemed to bother them much more than me. Praying for you to rest.

  2. I was in denial for over a month. Couldn't happen to me. I held on to the word "borderline".

    And I understand that people just don't know what to say. The ones I hate the most are the ones who told me that attitude made a difference and I had to have a positive attitude. There's lots that still makes me angry.

    Maggie J

  3. All I will say is I am glad the surgery is over and I love you. And cancer (any kind) sucks.

    I'm feeling pretty platitude-free these days. :)